Regretting a Decision to get an Abortion
After an abortion a woman may feel sad and confused. These feelings of sadness and loss often is misinterpreted as guilt and regret. Many feel that if they chose to have the abortion and feel sad and bad about it, it must have been the wrong decision.
Guilt is a feeling that you've done something wrong. Feeling guilty after an abortion is common. Most women get abortion guilt for several reasons:
- Violated personal or religious beliefs.
- Disappointing someone else.
- Public humiliation.
- Self punishment.
- Owes an emotional debt for taking a life.
A person's guilt can be very harmful and lead them to make bad decisions, but sometimes guilt can have a positive outcome. Your guilt can be a personal motivator. You can channel your emotions into something positive around you or your community.
It's hard to go through an abortion alone and not having someone there to assist you emotionally can make matters worse. You need to find ways to get out of your own head. You should look at writing down your thoughts, talking to a friend or a counselor, volunteering to help others or another avenue that will allow you to be engaged and not thinking negatively.
If you are having a hard time managing your guilt or feel that you're in immediate danger because of your emotions (dark thoughts), call 1-800-273-8255 and speak to someone about your situation. There are people that can help and you're not alone.
When dealing with guilt it is important to figure out exactly what you are feeling guilty about. You may not have guilt over having the abortion but you may be feeling guilty for an after-effect of the abortion. The earlier you can figure out why you're feeling guilty the sooner you can work to cope or forgive yourself.
The word regret is often misused or overused. Many who say it really don't mean it. To regret something you're wishing you made a different decision under the same circumstances.
If you're saying you regret having an abortion you should make sure you're not just confusing the regret with sadness or even guilt. Any feelings of sadness and loss need to be recognized and grieved in their own way.
Remember, regret is when you wish you had made a different decision.
There are many reasons why a woman will have an abortion and none of them are easy:
- Low-Income or Poverty (most common)
- Avoiding Single Parenting
- Relationship Stress
- Family Violence
- Sexual Assault or Rape
The above list is just a few of the many reasons why someone gets an abortion. The key here is that everyone's reasons are different. The circumstance or situation around the pregnancy is the leading factor in why a woman gets an abortion. It is very important to remember why you got an abortion since many situations are unchangeable no matter how much we try or wish they were different.
A person's regret is a very powerful weapon against yourself and for others to use against you. However, you have to keep in mind that you can't change what has already happened. Understanding that the past is ultimately in the past can help you move forward. It's fine to grieve and give yourself ample time to get through this time but the longer you hold onto past decisions the harder it will be for you to move forward and find joy in your life again.
If you are experiencing strong feelings of guilt or regret you should talk to a counselor. These feelings can be very difficult to cope with and you shouldn't have to do it alone.
What's On This Page:
- Regretting the Decision
- Abortion Guilt
- Abortion Regret
- Useful Links